When Saying No Is Saying Yes.

For me, saying no is automatically associated with guilt. It’s very difficult for me to do. It feels selfish & like I am letting someone down. Let’s be real: I even have a tattoo that says, “saying yes.” In context, it’s a daily reminder that our family’s goal is to keep saying yes to whatever God calls us to, no matter how scary. It’s what we have built our foundation on & our go to motto for foster care. While I still believe this deep in my heart, I’m finding that it’s okay to say no sometimes. I’m finding that there is worship in saying “no.” Or saying “not right now.” Throughout our time as foster parents, we’ve had a few instances where we had to say no. It sucks & I hate needing to sometimes, but I’m learning that saying no to something often means you are saying yes to other things. Like our marriage. Or L. Or our relationship with God. Recognizing that other priorities might fall because of a yes & not being willing to let them fall by saying no - that is not a bad thing. Sometimes saying no is just as much of an act of worship as saying yes might be. Protecting your marriage & your kids is worship. Making a difficult decision with all parties in mind is worship. Spending time in fervent prayer to receive discernment is worship. Wrestling with your thoughts is worship. Adjusting your lens to where you believe Christ is calling you is worship. Ultimately, worship is not something that is tidy & neat. It’s often messy because we are messy. It is more than singing a song. It’s more than a prayer. It’s a consistent surrender to Christ & acknowledgement that He is Lord above all - all names & all decisions. And sometimes it’s saying no. -C